Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Online

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On this week's reunion episode of 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,' the ladies gathered in a gilded ballroom to rehash the season's hottest topics: Taylor's lips, Lisa's potty mouth, Camille's crappy personality and a string of expertly fought catfights (minus the clawing).

Luckily for Bravo's goofy godfather Andy Cohen, the Beverly Hills babes aren't ones to throw punches, so it was safe to host this reunion special in a grand, historic Los Angeles hotel.

Andy was accessorized for the taping with a magenta tie and pocket square that perfectly matched the room's floor-to-ceiling drapes. The women also looked their best. Lisa wore a crystal dickey of jewels, Kyle covered herself in rhinestone feathers and Adrienne ordered hotel staff to remove two of the ballroom's chandeliers so she could dangle them from her ears.


Camille, who claims she did the show because Kelsey wanted her to, was not fazed when Andy rattled off close to 20 negative adjectives (conniving, narcissistic, hypocritical) the media has used to describe her. I think she even nodded her head in agreement at a few of them. Camille likes to portray herself as Kelsey's puppet, a Stepford wife forced to live in seven different homes with four nannies. But why would Kelsey need to divorce a puppet? Hmm?

One new thing we learned about Taylor: Don't talk about her charity! Especially if your name is Kim and you're trying to understand why a woman who's anti-violence would threaten to pull some Oklahoma on your ass. Kim made an effort to defend herself against the oh snap-isms coming out of Taylor's giant cotton candy hole, but Kim looked too much like a scared puppy about to pee all over the sofa for anyone to take her opinions seriously.

Inevitably, conversation turned to a topic I never want to hear about again: the off-camera fight between Camille and Kyle. Both women's eyeballs were in serious battle mode, widening and squinting in disgust. They went a few rounds before Kyle was officially declared the winner (by me at least) because it turns out she was the one who asked Camille (then a client of her husband's) if she'd like to join the cast. She also told Camille that, despite her misgivings, she should do something for herself and be part of the show. So Kyle wouldn't have a problem with Camille vacationing without Kelsey. Camille also admitted that, yeah, maybe she's a little insecure being the wife of the "beloved Frasier character."

Part 1 of the Bev Hills reunion turned out to be a rather tame affair. There was even a lot of hugging and handholding and a vow from Taylor that all of the women have Camille's back should anyone call her a delusional, passive aggressive freak to her face. We'll have to wait until next week to get the scoop on Kim's alcoholism and Lisa's estrangement from Cedric. In the meantime, let's not forget these highlights:

• "Thank you darling, like the Queen of England!" Lisa upgrading her status after Andy complimented her understated look

• "I'd like something cozier. I'd like to be able to find my husband instead of having to page him," Lisa on downsizing from her ginormous house

• "You have the balls of a burglar to be throwing rocks like that when you live in a glass house," Kyle's confusing metaphor in defense of her pal Faye Resnick to Camille

• "We'd have to pay people to buy our sex tapes," Taylor on rumors that 40-something Camille is shopping a naughty video of her and Kelsey

• "Do you have any poor friends?" Andy asked Lisa after a clip of her looking down her nose at the people of the DMV. "Well, you, Andy," Lisa responded

• "I'm not going to have surgery," Taylor said about removing her lip implant (so that's what it is!), as if surgery was a foreign concept to her

• "I know I grin and grimace a lot," Camille said about her Dr. Evil-inspired facial expressions


And quite frankly, Kim Richards makes me want to tear my hair out more than she makes me want to hit her. So Taylor should know better than to try and fight with Kim. You're not going to get anywhere! Plus, Taylor DID participate in a conversation about Camille at LAX, but she denied that the entire thing every happened.

What a headache. I had to blow the whistle on Taylor's snotty under-her-breath quips to Kyle, who chose to stare at her own chest rather than respond back.

It made me upset to see Taylor try to sh!t talk Kim to her own sister right in front of everyone. Lock up that plumpy mouth, Taylor. Just let it go.

I'm so winded. At least no furniture was thrown, and TG no one walked out. Hold your horses, we still have one more session to sit through.

Things you're talking about at the water cooler today:

- Did your eyes fall upon a sea of jewels as soon as the reunion started? So much bling! Goodness gracious. It's as if everyone was assigned seating based on the amount of jewelry they were covered in. Lisa, as Andy Cohen pointed out, looked "very understated" in her throat/chest-encasing necklace.

- Seated next to her was a more toned-down Taylor, who compensated with her lip implants (which, by the way, I had never known before. My tiniest babiest mouth dropped open at the news). Seated on the end we had an equally decked-out Kyle Richards. The Bev Hills gang put on the ritz last night.

- Adrienne looked great. She might have toned up a bit between the finale and the reunion taping. Thumbs up, classy lady. Although the earrings were a bit...loud.

- I very much dislike when Cohen greets the ladies one at a time. "Hi Andy. Hello Andy."

- Our host with the most was surprised to hear that the ladies don't know how much a gallon of milk costs. Cohen, the help picks up groceries. Why the hell would they need to know how much milk costs?

- After stating that this season's cast is very VERY rich, Cohen asked Lisa about the square footage of her enormous home. I was surprised/disappointed that Lisa answered. Perhaps I hold Mrs. Vanderpump to too-high standards. I expected her not to answer because it was a very tacky question.

- Speaking of Lisa, someone's a bit lippy tonight. The comment about Camille's 3500 square foot New York City apartment not being big enough for her, Kelsey and the girlfriend? My, my. Your blood sugar must be low, because I do not like this attitude on you.

- Make it more obvious that you're desperate to capture a reaction out of Kyle each time Camille speaks, camera guys.

Talk to me, 'Housewives' fans: What did you think of the reunion? Was Taylor being overly aggressive with Kim? Do women really like Adrienne's tinsel? And if your husband was a plastic surgeon, would you let him do your lipo?

Part one of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion aired last night and the gals were fairly subdued. That is until Cohen let Camille and Kyle out of their cages.

Previews airing since the season finale did little to quell our eagerness. What would happen? Would Camille and Kyle find another reason to not be friends?

Would Giggy be on set to bite Andy Cohen should he step out of line?